How to beat those evil little brain monsters that stop you from forming a new habit
Thank goodness New Year's resolutions are a thing of the past! Anyone else really glad that they no longer have to carry around that guilt from mid-Feb (OK fine, I'm lying - I usually only manage to stick to it until mid-Jan) of not achieving what you set out to achieve at the beginning of the year? Me! Me! I hear you cry!
If you're someone who still "believes" in New Years resolutions, hats off to you, I'd love to hear how long you've managed to stick to one - genuinely!
What are we getting into today?
So... it's a random day, in a random month and you decide: "THAT'S IT! I'm going to do a couch to 5k training programme". You download the app, you charge your AirPods (other headphones are available),
*squirrel, I'd love to work somewhere where I actually had to say things like... "Other headphones are available. (BBC Peeps... hit me up).
... you get your running gear on, head out of the house, SMASH that week 1, run 1, and come back home exhausted but full of all of those lovely endorphins (I picture dolphins with their happy faces jumping around in your brain and bloodstream but maybe that's TMI). YOU DID IT! You post on social media about your experience and then get on with the rest of your day.
My trusty running shoes
The time for week 1, run 2 comes!
And goes.
And goes.
And you REALLY want to do it. But there's something that's stopping you. What is it that is stopping you? That first time felt SO good, and the sense of satisfaction you got from it was awesome. So what is it?
Here's the hard part to hear. It's your brain.
What's going on in your brain?
Your brain likes things easy, and things that you've always done are easy. New things are hard. See your brain, it creates these neural pathways (think of a neural pathway as connections between different points in your brain that spark in a certain order to create a pattern in your brain. When that pattern is triggered, your brain knows what to expect) and wants to stick to those because creating new neural pathways IS HARD WORK!
Now imagine you're tired, or you've had a particularly hard day where you've not been looking after your brain very well. One where you've been in meetings all day with minimal breaks. You've eaten your lunch in front of your screen with your camera off, the only movement you've done is when you dashed off for a wee mid-meeting. Does your brain really want to go to the effort of creating a new, habit forming neural pathway? Erm... No, no thank you, no thank you very much.
(That's your brain talking).
An actual photograph of my brain
So how do we create habits when our brains are so resistant?
Spoiler* I'm no expert on this - LOL but I know some of the things that have helped me when it comes to stick-to-itiveness.
Ride the high, prepare for the low
The first two weeks of any new habit are novel and we produce dopamine to keep us motivated. After 14 days this reduces. Lower dopamine, less excitement about getting those shoes on, more opportunity to find a reason why you can't. It's dark, you're not feeling 100%, you'll go "later". Yeah right. Get ready to prepare for that low and work through it.
Breakdown the task
What's the first thing to do to start the task? Then what's the next thing? Then the next thing? With running there are at least 10 actions that come before actually leaving the house. Start the task list and you're much more likely to get out for a run and keep the habit.
Instead of stopping something, reframe it to a starting something
Change "I'm going to stop smoking" to "I'm going to start, I dunno... meditating?". Stopping something is no fun. No fun at all. Stopping eating sweets? Stopping going out as much? Stopping drinking? None of this excites me. So what's the reframe? What are you starting? What's the new adventure that is in front of you?
Acknowledge that you are REPLACING something.
You're replacing over-working with going to the cinema, you're replacing mindlessly scrolling on your phone with doing a page in a Where's Wally? book. Say goodbye to the old pathway, acknowledge that it existed for a reason and during that time it was useful but now you're replacing it with something that is new and something that you need right now. Something that is going to be more useful to you in the now.
Plan the hurdles
Your brain doesn't like surprises. When I think of neural pathways I think of listening to someone playing a well known tune on a piano. Your brain knows the next note that is coming, it knows what to expect. What happens if the next note is wrong and off-key? You frown. You maybe turn your head and sit more upright. Your brain is like... WTF just happened? THIS is what it is like when you're trying to form a new habit. A series of WTF moments from your brain. Until it is a habit. So plan for the hurdles. Plan for the days when you know that you won't get that habit formation practice in. BUT THEN get straight back to it the next day.
You definitely have this!
The last thing
Science hasn't come up with what the perfect number is but some say that it takes as little as 60 times to create a new neural pathway and a new habit. If you're a list-maker, create a tally! Cross off one each time you complete it, your countdown to a new habit starts at 60. That doesn't seem so bad does it?
And if all else fails, and you feel like you can't do it alone, do it with friends. Have an accountability buddy or even hire a coach.
If you've got a new habit that you're trying to form, I'd love to hear about it and how you're doing. I'm currently on week 3 of cooking at least 6 home cooked meals a week (A.K.A eating out/take-away less!).
Send recipes.
Send help.
There's only so many times I can rotate between chicken fajitas, shepherds pie, and spaghetti bolognese!
For now,
Toodles x
