Sorry, your name was…?
So recently in conversations over the last month face blindness has popped up several times. This is one of those things that I have had in my head for the last 10 years that I thought everyone knew about that turns out that not many people know about.
So face blindness - or prosopagnosia if you want to be fancy ;) - is when a person struggles to recognise faces, and they can be the faces of people they have just met or even the faces of their children or "significant other".
With that in mind, this newsletter isn't about face blindness at all, although if you want to look more into what face blindness is you can check out some of the links in the comments. This edition is about something that I think I made up - name blindness. Name blindness is what it says on the tin (as they say). It's something that I've struggled with for my whole life and is REALLY embarrassing because it tends to happen at the most unhelpful of times.
So what does it look like?
I forget names. And I don't mean the name of the neighbour that I've only spoken to once in three years. Or the name of that first boyfriend that I had 25 years ago (erm excuse me, when did I get so old that 25 years ago was completely viable as having a first boyfriend?). No, I'm talking about actual people that are in my life on at least a weekly basis. Their name just completely disappears. I can see their face perfectly, I can tell you about our last conversation (likely word for word), what their dog is called, their favourite holiday destination, BUT NOT THEIR NAME. In the past I've forgotten a niece's name, and a best friend's husband's name, and even a sibling-in-law's name. I literally have a block that stops me from remembering their name at that given time.
How do I try and mitigate this?
There are a couple of things that I do to try and mitigate this embarrassing ailment!
The first one is the SAVE method. This one is more of a way to solidify their name in my brain rather than help with the recall of it in any given situation but it looks a little like this.
SAY - When you're introduced to them, say their name at least three times in the conversation. Now I'm not talking repeatedly all at once like you're saying Candyman into a mirror - that would be weird - I'm talking about finding ways to say their name and connect it to them. "Janet, hi, it's great to meet you", "Janet, what do you think about that?", "I'm looking forward to speaking to you again, Janet". Poor Janet...
Next up is,
ASK - Ask something about them that will help you remember who they are. Janet plays netball on a Saturday and her name happens to end in net so that will be a way to remember it in the future.
Then we've got,
VISUALISE - Actively pay attention to their features. What can you link with their name that will help you to remember next time you meet them? This ONLY needs to make sense to you. For example, for me I might think something like. Janet has Jan at the beginning of her name which is the first month of the Gregorian calendar and she has one freckle on her right cheek. (inserts note to stop judging me for the way that my brain thinks...).
Finally we have,
END - End the conversation with their name (this one kind of links with the first one if you're lazy like me and you like to multitask). Say their name as you finish your conversation. It's the final way to consolidate it in your head.
Now the SAVE method is great but sometimes it isn't enough for me so I do a couple of other things.
I add them to a memory palace. If you're interested in what a memory palace is in more detail give me a shout and I'll do another newsletter on this but for now just think of it as a way to store information the form of a story. And that's what I do. I create a story with the person's name.
I connect them with their significant other (or their dog, or the place that I met them). This means that they come as a pair. Liam and Amy. Aimee and Alan. Ben and Jerry. OK, that last one I don't often forget ;).
And if all of those things fail?
I just own up to it! I say something like "I'm really sorry, I have this thing where I literally have a name block and it's happening right now. It's no indication of how much I care for you, it's just a thing that happens". Most of the time people have no problem with it.
I surely can't be the only person who has this??
Go forth and remember names my friends!
For now,
Toodles x
